Sunday, 9 January 2011

January blues

We had a big lightning hit on Friday night and I didn't have internet since and it's been back only for an hour or so, after my modem has been fixed. All the computers at home are ok, except Yael's laptop, which all though switched off, had a battery charger plugged in to the power. I think it's totally dead. It was our newest computer, as she got it for her bat-mitswa in june 2009.

Anyway, January always starts bad for me. I celebrate each year the birth- and death-day of my only son, Ben on January 10th. He died because of a medical error by my gynecologist. Tonight I will light a memorial candle for his 19th birthday.

I made a scrapbook for Ben with the few ultrasound pictures and photos I have of him, I draw and paint and it helps me putting it in place. This drawing I made in 1999.


and this photoshop/bryce work I made in 2008. It is inspired by psalm 23, the Lord is my shepherd, which was read by rabbi Soetendorp at Ben's funeral and is very special to me.


THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want;
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters;
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for His name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil;
for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life;
and I shall dwell in the house of the
Lord forever.

Psalm 23


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yehi zichro baruch - יהי ברוך זיכרו
May His Memory be a Blessing

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12 comments:

Yn'e Steeg said...

Heel veel sterkte Elsina.
Ik brand ook een kaarsje op mijn blog voor jou en je zoon hoor!

Liefs Jantsje

Pierelantijntjes said...

Lieve Elsina,
Wat ontzettend erg om een kind te moeten missen. ik denk aan jullie!
Liefs Ester

Victoria said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. It's understandable that this is a hard time for you. The tribute you made to him is beautiful!

vignette design said...

So sorry for the loss of your son Ben. So sad....
I know this day is hard for you. Take it easy. I'm thinking of you today and sending warm thoughts your way. ~Delores

♥ Franska Liljan ♥ said...

Hello Elsina, thank You for leaving a message on my blog, so i could find yours :-)
Im sorry for your loss of your Ben. A beutiful tribute you did for him :-)

Wewe did you find the wallpaper i uk? iwould like to order some more :-)

Kindly Helena /franska liljan

Marge said...

Dear Elsina,

Oh, I´m so sorry for the loss of your son!! I understand that this time of year is very difficult to you!! But you have made very beautiful works, so beautiful!!!

Thank you for visit on my blog and take part in my giwe away! You got three tickets:)

With love, Marge

Gerreke said...

Wat spijt me dat voor je! Ik hoop dat je troost vindt bij Psalm 23. Ik vind het een prachtige Psalm.

Ik wil je toch graag zeggen dat ik het een prachtige painting vind!

CircleofLifeStudioScraps said...

Ah, precious Elsina. I am sorry and know a bit about it- you have read Cassie's story on my old blog. The last day I saw her was in January too- it is now 11 years. :( I don't remember the date cos I blocked it all out. I know that J_Rohi is with us. "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted." shalom my special friend.

Shelly said...

I pray that your heart will be comforted during this difficult time of the year, Elsina. Hugs

Your artwork you've made in memory of Ben is beautiful.

Willy said...

Elsina, wat een verschrikkelijk verlies. Een bijzonder blogje heb je gemaakt,toen ik het las voelde ik hoe je hem mist.
Veel sterkte, liefs Willy

Marias Hörna - Njut av livet said...

Hello in the house. Just wanted to see that all is well. Here, thaw it in full ... Yikes! Get a good day:)

THE BLACK BARN said...

SORRY, VOOR MIJN LATEN REACTIE OP JOU VERDIETIGE BLOGPOST.
IK WENSJE NA AL DIE JAREN VAN GEMIS VAN JE ZOON VEEL STERKTE.
HET IS MISSCHIEN EEN SCHRALLE TROOST MAAR HIJ IS ALTIJD BIJ JE,IN JE HART IN JE ZIEL.


IK HAD ZELF DIT JAAR OOK NIET ZO EEN LEUK START, VANDAAR DAT IK ZO LAAT REAGEERDE.


HELE LIEVE GROET,
MIRANDA