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Monday, 23 February 2015

A marriage of convenience?

Once a year it's time for a rant....

For quit some time now we played with the idea to have a sabbatical year (or even longer), leave the kibbutz and return to the Netherlands for a while. I am fifty plus and husband is going to be 55 soon. I doubt we would find work right away, but if we wait even longer we won't for sure find any and will always be saying if only we would have tried...  Two of the kids want to come (18 and 20) and a third perhaps in 2 years when she finishes her studies. If  I would leave, my mom of 77 who lives with us here in the kibbutz and has a pension from Holland would have to come too. She is to old to get any housing in Holland and I would take her in with me again (mantelzorg). But here comes the absurd. My husband can't come due to new immigration laws in Holland to curb marriages of convenience - and ONLY in Holland! Nowhere in Europe they have these laws. I would have to go by myself, my mom and the girls, get a job (yeah right away I"ll find something) and prove to the authorities that I earn 1600 euros a month and show a contract of a year in advance (who gives you a contract for a year nowadays?). Only than can I apply for a visa for my husband and it will take another couple of months. So all together with the luck of finding a job right away it will take months, years before he can join us (while he works the most hours). I am married for 27 years. I have worked for over 30 years and never claimed social benefits or unemployment benefits, neither did my husband or my children.

I was advised to go and live half a year together in Belgium or Germany and get him a five year visa there, as none of the other European countries have these crazy Dutch laws. How absurd is that?

Some one else advised to get husband a Lithuanian passport (EU) as almost his complete family was murdered there in the Holocaust and he can rightfully obtain a Lithuanian passport (but would loose his Israeli one, which he will never do..If only his family would have had a chance to flee to Israel 75 years ago...).

How can they call Israel an apartheid state when Israel took me in 27 years ago, just for being married to an Israeli. When Israel took in my mother because I lived there. When Israel took in my catholic Colombian son in law just for being married to my Jewish Israeli Dutch daughter?

In 2014 185.000 people immigrated/returned to the Netherlands. A total of 22.500 Syrian refugees now live there. I, a Dutch citizen (I have ONLY my Dutch passport), with four Dutch children and an elderly Dutch mother, can not return without leaving hubby behind. I used to be proud of Holland.....


4 happy thoughts:

Shayna said...

Elsina, I'm so sorry that you are having such a difficult time trying to go back to the Netherlands for a sabbatical and the fact that it is almost impossible for your hubby to join you there because of their immigration laws. It seems so strange that you've been married for 27 years and still the government will not allow your hubby to go with you, your mother and your children.

Actually, I stopped by to tell you how much I have enjoyed purchasing your kits over the's hard to find kits for Jewish Holidays that look authentic. I also wanted to thank you for "liking" two of the layouts I did at RLS when it was open. I was just browsing through the photos on your FB site and noticed them. I'm looking forward to seeing you at your new digi home.


Bev said...

Thinking of you and your family! XO

Brynwood Needleworks said...

Dear Elsina:
I hope that you're able to find a workable solution that allows your husband to be with you on this new adventure. It's not right that families should be separated. You'll be in my prayers.

Willy said...

Wat een triest berichtje. Jammer dat het jullie onmogelijk wordt gemaakt om als gezin samen te zijn in Nederland. Hopelijk komt er nog een goede oplossing op jullie pad. Ik duim! Lieve groet,